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| Photo by Florent Banissa |
One day I heard a couple of my friends referring to the traditional wedding as the real/true wedding, I thought to myself “ So, for some I’m not a married woman?”
It has always been very important to my mum that my husband fulfilled this duty! Until the day we finally announced our traditional wedding to people, I have been doing it only by obligation! Today I’m a proud woman, and especially proud of my husband! Throughout the process, I’ve got to experience the place I actually occupy in his heart, you will ask, so you never knew? I knew he loves me but I might say I didn’t know to what extent!
The fact that we have different cultures, that it was his first time visiting my country and stepping on the continent, that all of my family and friends loved him so much, and obviously that he accepted to do this traditional wedding that someone out of the culture might take as a fraud because financially…hum! Somebody could have given it a second thought! But he kept up to it, proudly, happily … mixed up with the family, tried the foods, experienced and enjoyed the togetherness spirit of Africans… I’m proud of my man, full stop!
My reason for writing all this is because, I have spoken to other mums, whose daughters are also in interracial relationships, they worry their children won’t make it happen… and I thought, I was one of these daughters… and personally I've never mind having a traditional wedding, I've just never given it the importance it deserves! Our first reason of not making it happen earlier was the situation in which my husband and I have met, we weighted the cons and pros and the registry wedding was the best option for us first ! Then, my mum was on our necks and I heard that conversation, I started thinking more about it afterward! Anyway, it was really important for us that my husband gets to meet the rest of my family back home! And the opportunity presented itself; my mum said we got to grab it! Of course!!!! and that is what we did!
Now I’m happy we did it, the numerous challenges that we went through, the experience itself, how it is mainly performed and directed by aunts and parents with the presence of uncles, cousins, and friends were all worth it and gave a deeper sense and meaning to our union!
Therefore I’m now a believer of traditional weddings, apart from the financial expenses that it comprises! My husband had to say sorry because we are already parents of two kids, plus the dowry itself and at the end of the day we are a family with one purse so whatever is coming out of his pocket is coming out of our pocket! …it wasn’t so funny at the time, but I’m happy he did it all!
I just think that as parents we have to stress more on the importance of traditions! Maybe our parents didn’t see the mixture of cultures to the extent it has gone now! Most of my friends are leaving out of the country and spread all over the world! I feel like it would have been different if my mum were not only pressurising us to do the traditional wedding but also explained the meaning of it and highlighted its importance to us, and this from a younger age! She only used to say ‘it is a ceremony, it is important’
We did not marry as most people do, everything at once over a weekend! At the time I wasn’t too happy about it, but now if there is a redo, I will do it exactly as we did! All that is left for us is to walk the aisle of a church by God graces! For now I’m very thankful for this blessing we just received!
I hope you enjoy the video!
PS: I would like to point out that even though some might consider the traditional wedding as the true/real wedding, and that myself I’m now a believer of traditional wedding, this alone doesn’t cover any of the partners legally, if there isn’t a marriage certificate! And it is important to take this legal detail into account especially when you have a family together! I believe that when we form a family we are also striving to construct a beautiful and bright future together, the future is unknown therefore for the sake of the family's future it is important to register customary marriages!
Video by Golden mark studio
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